i just woke up to that girl in my doorway. I kid you not. Tan and lime green thong on. peeing on the carpet in the hallway. Then she collapsed. There is a load of towels in the wash. Just thought you should know when you wake up. Gross.
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
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