you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
