ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
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