your room smells of hookers.
And success
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
Randomize
