literally had 100 drinks last night.
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
Randomize
