im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
21 Porn Stars Confess What Sex Is Really Like On Set
I am full of burrito and curiosity
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
19 People That Found Pubes In All The Wrong Places
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.