Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join