she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
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