are you still at the devil's house?
So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
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Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
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I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.