how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
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I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
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why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?