is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Randomize
