her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
Randomize
