If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
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