Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
God, you're like boner-b-gone
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
Randomize
