I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
Randomize
