Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
