East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
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