I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
Randomize
