Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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