Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
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