My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
He told me they were just razor bumps!
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
Randomize