just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
no, he came in my armpit
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
Randomize
