First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
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