Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Randomize
