I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
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