She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
Randomize
