chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
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