My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
This couple is walking their pig around campus
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
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