you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
Cover your peen. We're going out.
Randomize
