Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
Randomize
