I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
Randomize
