ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
Why are your pants in the freezer?
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
Randomize
