gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
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