He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
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