At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
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5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
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I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
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