dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
It's shark week go big or go home
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
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