hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
We're too hungover to prance.
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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