True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
Randomize
