So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
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