So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
Randomize
