I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
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