i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
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