My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
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