Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Randomize
