I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
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