I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
I love how my cats smell like pot.
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
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