you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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