He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
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he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
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Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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