The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
birth control should be required to get into college
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
Randomize
