Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
Randomize
