If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
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