Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
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