Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
