You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
Randomize
