There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Randomize
