Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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