Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
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