a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
