I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
Randomize
