playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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