We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
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