I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
