I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
Randomize
