Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
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