whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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