the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
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