walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
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