I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
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