Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
its not stalking. its research.
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
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